Naboo's Love Boat
by SisiDraig
Summary: Sequel to three little words. Howard's trying desperatelt to adjust to knowing he can't have Vince after his memory loss. But can love and a bit of help from Naboo conquer all?
1. Chapter 1

**Thanks for all your support in writing a sequel! I hope this doesn't disappoint...**

**D/C: The Mighty Boosh belongs to the stunning Noel Fielding and the awkwardly hilarious Julian Barrett. I don't own either of them. :(**

* * *

It had been months since Vince had lost his memory and every moment they'd spent together since was killing Howard inside. He was so desperate to reach out and touch Vince, kiss him, hold him but he was too nervous and he never seemed to find the right time to make any kind of suggestion he wanted more than friendship. On top of that he was still bitterly aware of Naboo's warning.

"Hey Howard!" grinned Vince walking through the shop door dressed in a glittery all in one suit complete with platform boots. "What's up?"

"The sky."

"Heyyyyyy. Clever." smiled Vince.

"Thanks."

"You seen the new Top Shop down the road?"

"Yes."

"It's amazing isn't it. I bought this entire outfit there." laughed Vince, twirling to better show off his new look.

"Congratulations."

Vince frowned at Howard's monotone responses but assuming he was having an off day Vince continued cheerily "and look at my hair. It's almost back to normal. You still never told me what happened to it."

"Hmmm."

"Bollo cut it off. Didn't he? It was Bollo, wasn't it?"

"Huh?"

"Did Bollo chop my hair off?"

"Oh. No, it wasn't him." murmured Howard.

"Howard?" frowned Vince sitting down on the counter and watching Howard's expression carefully.

"mmm?"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm fine."

"Then you should tell your face that." smiled Vince raising an eyebrow. "Trust me, you're not fine."

Howard sighed heavily.

"Howaaaaaaard?"

"What?"

"Have I upset you?"

"What?!" asked Howard completely shocked. "'course not. You're just as wonderful as ever."

"Steady there Howard, people will think you fancy me." Howard turned the colour of tomato and shifted uncomfortably.

"Ahhh, don't worry" Vince joked "all men fancy me, I'm the confuser. Remember."

"Oh right, yer 'course."

"Sooooooo, if it ain't me. What _is_ wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Okay." conceded Vince "But I don't believe you."

"Fine." Howard sighed focusing his attention fully on stationary village.

Vince studied Howard's body language more closely, looking for any clues as to why Howard was acting so strange. Howard could feel Vince's stare prickling the back of his neck. Vince shuffled along the counter closer to Howard and then reached out a hand to place it delicately on Howard's shoulder. As Howard felt Vince's fingertips brush his skin he jumped up violently.

"Tea?" he asked shakily, looking anywhere to avoid meeting the gaze of those beautiful blue eyes.

"Ummm, yer. Sure." Vince replied with a look of total confusion across his face.

"Great. Sugar?"

"10 please."

"**10**!? Would you like any tea with that? Or shall I just bring you a cup of sugar and you can drink that?"

"Oh, that would be nice."

"I was being sarcastic."

"oh" said Vince looking disappointed.

"Do you really want that much sugar?"

"Yeah, keeps me sweet." winked Vince.

"Y-yeah. Okay." Howard stammered and made his way upstairs.

"Uh, Howard?"

"Yeah?"

"There's a kettle down here."

"yeah, but the one upstairs better."

"It's not. Anyway, I don't mind."

"Well, I do." and with that Howard disappeared up the stairs. Vince furrowed his brow thoughtfully. It seemed Howard had been doing everything to avoid him recently and he was acting really weird. Vince searched his brain, feverishly trying to remember what he'd done to annoy Howard but he couldn't think of anything.

Howard returned a few minutes later with two cups of tea.

"Here." he said handing it to Vince.

"Thanks." smiled Vince. "Howard?"

"Yeah."

"Nothing."

Howard frowned and took a sip of his tea. "Spluh!"

"What?"

"This is yours." he coughed handing the tea to the smaller man. Vince swapped mugs and smiled gorgeously up at the jazz maverick. "Vince, you know…" Howard trailed off embarrassed.

"What?"

"Nothing."

The men fell silent.

"Howard… You don't, I mean. Do you? Have I? Did… never mind."

"What?" Howard laughed looking bemused.

"Don't worry." Vince sighed.

The men sat silently for a while. Vince twisting his hair around his finger. Howard twiddling his thumbs. Both doing anything to avoid eye contact.

"Vince-"

"Howard-"

"You first…"

"No, go on."

"I was just gonna ask if your tea was alright."

"Oh," said Vince looking a little dejected "Yeah, it's perfect. Thank you."

"I told you the kettle upstairs was better, didn't I?"

"Yeah. Maybe we could go and get a new kettle after work for down here."

"Maybe." nodded Howard. "What were you going to say?"

"Ummm, I was just wondering if you had jazzersise tonight?" Vince lied

"No, it's not on."

"Oh… why?"

"Not sure."

"Right."

"Vince."

"Yeah?"

"I'm… nothing."

"You know, one of us is going to have to finish a sentence soon."

"hmmm" agreed Howard taking another sip of tea. "Oh yes. This cup of tea is delicious, the kettle upstairs is much better."

Vince sighed loudly. He'd never felt so awkward around Howard in his life. He felt like he was sat in a room with someone he hardly knew, trying to make polite conversation about… well, tea.

"You know what," Vince suddenly announced "I'm feeling a little tired. Do you mind if I head on up to the flat?"

"No, not at all. I'm going to shut up soon anyway, it's not like it's busy."

"Okay, well I'll see you in a bit then."

"Right." nodded Howard and began to re-organise his beloved jazz records.

* * *

**Bit of a slow start... will get more interesting soon.**

**Thanks for reading. xx**


	2. Chapter 2

**I know 'Stars of Andromeda' has been worried about Vince's hair, so I've included it today. lol**

**D/C: I own the Mighty Boosh and - oh wait, no i don't :(. It belongs comic genius' Noel Fielding and Julian Barrett and I couldn't think of two nicer and funnier people to own it.**

* * *

"What's wrong with you?" asked Naboo as Vince flopped dramatically onto the sofa.

"Howard."

"Oh, what's happened now?" groaned Naboo.

"I don't know. He's acting all weird."

"It's Howard, he always acts weird."

Vince smiled. "Okay, extra weird."

"In what way?"

"He keeps avoiding me and he acts all jumpy when I'm around. Is he ill Naboo?"

"No, what on earth made you think that?"

"Dunno" Vince shrugged "I can't think of anything else that might be wrong. Are you sure he's not ill?"

Naboo smiled "I'm sure. You really care about him don't you."

Vince nodded silently.

"You still having those dreams?"

Vince nodded again. "Every night now and they're more real than ever. It's like I can _feel_ it happening. Or happened. Or something. I can't explain it. But it's the same every night. We do the same thing. It's like a memory more than a dream."

"hmmm" said Naboo noting something down in a pad of paper he'd been keeping of Vince's progress.

"And when did they begin?"

"Well, I've always dreamt about me and Howard" Vince smiled coyly "But you know the reoccurring dream started a couple of months ago."

"And, how do you feel about Howard?"

"I love him." Vince admitted quietly "well, at least I think I do, I mean I've never really been in love. Or maybe I've always been in love, with Howard."

"So, why don't you tell him that?"

"I can't do that" Vince gasped in horror "He's not gay."

"Well…"

"Well, what?" asked Vince frowning.

"Wait there." said Naboo walking to a nearby cupboard. "Damn!" he slammed the door shut "Out of candles."

"candles?" asked Vince

"Nothing." smiled Naboo "Listen, if you really love Howard then just tell him."

"No!" Vince almost shouted "I'm not going to tell him, I couldn't bear it if he didn't say it back."

"No, I know" muttered Naboo remembering Vince's depression all too well.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Why's everyone speaking in riddles? No one's given me a proper answer for months!" Vince ranted "I still don't know what happend to my hair!"

"Yeah but you've moaned about it incessantly everyday. And how many times have you accused Bollo now?"

"A few." blushed Vince. "I found a pair of sissors in his monkey bedroom. Anyway, if it wasn't him who was it?"

"Ian." said Naboo, plucking a name from nowhere.

"Ian, who?"

"I don't remember. I think he was on holiday from... Australia."

"Ian from Australia? Why'd he cut my hair?"

"He's got a phobia of long black hair." Naboo said exasperated by Vince's questions.

"But, why's he..."

"Look Vince, 'if we've learnt anything it's don't trust Ian'."

"Well, it's the last time I'm going to trust anyone called Ian, ever."

"Okay," sighed Naboo

"Well, I'm going to lie down, I'm feeling a little tired."

--

Naboo waited patiently for Vince to leave the room and then he smiled knowingly.

"You can come out from behind that plant now, Howard."

Howard appeared sheepishly.

"Normally," Naboo continued with the air of an angry school teacher "I'd be telling you not to eaves drop, but I suppose in the circumstance it wasn't such a bad thing. How much did you hear?"

"I heard him say he loves me."

"Good, then knock on the door and tell him you love him too."

"No, you said that we weren't allowed a relationship."

"Yeah I know but circumstances have changed."

"How?"

"Never you mind. Just go and tell him how you feel."

"No."

"Why not?" asked Naboo, completely exasperated. "You two are ridiculous. I feel like I'm back on the school yard and two of my friends fancy each other and I'm running between them."

"Sorry, but you said if i tell him he may get depressed again."

"Did you hear him say about his dream?"

"No."

"He keeps dreaming of your night together. The meal, the candle, the sleeping and the not sleeping, if you catch my drift. It must have made a huge impression on him. Most people don't remember a thing when they drink that stuff."

"Well what can I say I must be a natural in the bedroom."

"No Howard. It means that he already remembers your night together so if you and him get together he wont relapse."

"Really?" Howard asked getting excited as Naboo gave him permission to pursue his most beloved goal.

"Howard, He loves you - more than even he realises. I've never know love so strong."

"I love him too."

"Tell _him_ that. I already know. You know, if you two just talked this would all be a lot easier."

"I know, hey, havn't you got anymore of those candles?"

"No, I just checked. I can offer you a 'mood reflecting football'."

"A football?! Can you see either of us wanting to play football?"

"Well, what about a 'love coin'?"

"What's that?"

"You hold it and it shows you the name of the person you love."

"But I already know who I love."

"Fine, what about a 'hush love heart'?"

"Oooooo, what's one of them?"

"It's a love heart sweet and when you eat it you can't talk for a week."

"Right. And what good is that going to do?"

"Nothing, it'll just stop me having to listen to you both complaining. Oh, and you better tell him you love him this time small eyes 'cause I'm not going through all that again."

"No, well. Fair enough. And I do love him, I know that now."

"You knew that then!" scorned Naboo angrily "and if you'd just said it all of this may have been avoided."

"I know. There's not a day goes by I don't think about that. Please try and do something Naboo."

"Okay, I'll try. But I'm not making any promises."


	3. Chapter 3

The next day Howard woke up very early, full of anticipation at what Naboo may have in store for him and Vince. 'If all goes to plan,' he thought 'Me and Vince will be together by this evening.' Howard smiled at that thought and strode happily into the kitchen where Naboo was cooking some kind of voodoo cookie.

"Good morning Naboolio."

"You high?"

"No I've never touched drugs in my life, sir. Why?"

"Bit happy aren't you."

"Oh, I see. No, maybe I've got something to feel happy about."

"You told Vince your feelings."

"God no." exclaimed Howard looking horrified. "I thought maybe you'd found another magical item."

"Oh yeah, I'm working on it." Naboo lied unconvincingly.

Howard sat down miserably. "Thanks for nothing Naboo."

"Hey, Naboo. Where you want this?" growled Bollo hauling an old rowing boat awkwardly up the stairs .

"Aha!" smiled Naboo"Here it is… the, umm... 'love boat'."

"It's not a-"

"Shut up Bollo." snapped Naboo waving his arms around frantically. "This, Howard, is 'the love boat'. You and Vince take this boat and go for a romantic night on the river. I guarantee that love will happen."

"How does it work?" Howard asked eyeing the boat up.

"Ummmm, well... you sit in the boat and when there's a full moon the boat makes the two people in the boat braver to confess their love."

"Excellent." smiled Howard "Exactly what we need."

"Bollo, take the boat down to the river, will you?"

"But, I just come from…"

"Bollo. Hurry up."

"But…"

"I'll make you a banana smoothie." bribed Naboo

"Okay." sighed Bollo reluctantly and pushed the boat back carelessly down the stairs.

"Thanks Naboo," said Howard "your a star."

"I know" said Naboo airily as Howard rushed quickly to his room to clean himself up a bit before going down to the shop.

--

A lot later, but still earlier than usual, Vince appeared looking immaculate.

"Hey Naboo." he grinned "Howard around?"

"He's in the shop."

"Oh right."

"Vince."

"Yer?"

"You knew perfectly well he was in the shop, so why you asking?"

"Just making sure."

"Why?" said Naboo looking up curiously.

"I wanted to talk to you... about him."

"Of course you do." sighed Naboo angrily "Can't you just talk _to _him?"

"I want to know if you've got any Love Drugs."

"What are 'Love Drugs'?"

"You know something to make Howard fall in love with me."

"Vince, you can't give people drugs to fall in love with you." said Naboo quietly. Then seeing Vince's disapointed face he continued "I tell you what. I'll get you and Howard in a romantic situation in a magic boat."

"Magic boat?"

"Yeah, it helps, but doesn't force, the two people in the boat fall in love."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Oh Naboo, you're a diamond." grinned Vince hugging Naboo hard.

"Yeah, I know." said Naboo pushing Vince away from him roughly. "Now, get to work."

"Yeah sure."

* * *

The moon bathed the river in a wonderful silvery glow (which he was very proud of) and the small rowing boat that Howard and Vince were sharing bobbed along gently completely of its own accord.

"Well this is wonderful." snapped Howard angrily. "Only you could lose both oars so spectacularly."

"Sorry." Vince grinned cheekily "But it wasn't completely my fault."

"How? Vince, you dropped the oar in the water and then dropped the other one whilst trying to get the first one back."

"At least I tried." retorted Vince, trying not to laugh "You just sat there complaining."

"Fat lot a good your trying did as well."

"There you are, more complaining!"

"We are stuck in the middle of the river with no way to get to the side. I'm allowed to complain."

"Oh chill out." sighed Vince contentedly "This is beautiful. The moon's full, the water's making a nice back ground noise. I don't mind if we never get to the side again."

"You'd miss your clothes eventually" Howard smiled

"Maybe. But I don't really care where I am as long as I get to be with you."

'No way' thought Howard 'I'm not letting him say it first, not again.'

"You see, the thing is Howard. I lov-"

"Don't Vince." said Howard quietly.

"What? I thought you… Naboo said that this boat…" Vince started, his eyes shining as he kept back the tears.

"Vince don't cry. I just wanna say, before you say anything else, I love you."

To Howard's complete supprise Vince suddenly broke down in to tears "No you don't." he sobbed.

"What?" asked a confused Howard. He didn't know what reaction he was expecting, but it wasn't that.

"It's just the boat talking." explained Vince "Naboo said the boat made the people inside it fall in love."

"He told me it made you brave enough to say your true feelings."

"Huh?" Vince said drying his tears quickly on his sleeves.

"Vince, this boat hasn't made me think I love you. I do love you, I've loved you all along. I keep dreaming that you'll be with me and you'll never leave. And I swear if I lose you again I'll die."

"again?" asked Vince

"Did i say again? I meant ever. If I lose you ever I'll die."

"I didn't think you said I love you."

"Who told you that?"

"Dunno. I just sorta remember hearing somewhere." shrugged Vince

"Well that was the old me. This Howard realises he loves you and he's going to say it everyday. Twice on Saturdays. What day is it?"

"Saturday."

"In that case, I love you."

"Oh Howard." breathed Vince, grinning daftly "You have no idea how long I have waited to hear you say that."

"I do." smiled Howard knowingly and then a look of disappointment invaded his generic features.

"What?" asked Vince searching Howard's face for clues as to why he looked so upset.

"Why aren't you saying it back?" he asked.

"Sorry," smiled Vince. "I love you Howard Moon. I'd have thought that was obvious." And with that Vince leant forward to place a lingering kiss on Howard's lips.

As Vince began to pull away, Howard reached up a hand to cup Vince's cheek. The touch made him shiver slightly as a wondrous tingling built up in his spine. Howard lent forward and kissed Vince passionately.

"Woah." smiled Vince pulling away suddenly.

"What?" asked Howard concerned.

"I just had serious déjà vu. Feels like we've done this before."

"Yeah, sure does." smiled Howard grabbing Vince's shirt and pulling the smaller man towards him. Vince didn't need much persuading and as the two men locked lips Vince practically dived on Howard, forgetting they were in a very unstable boat.

**SPLASH**

"My hair!" squealed Vince thrashing around in the water.

Howard laughed out loud as he saw the smaller mans dismay.

"Don't laugh. God knows what's in this water!"

"I'm in the water." smiled Howard swimming up to Vince.

"Yeah," grinned Vince "That'll do. And we're both going to need a shower when we get home."

"Sounds like fun."

"It will be. I promise." said Vince beginning to swim towards the river bank. "Hey Howard."

"Hmmm?"

"Look what I just found." laughed Vince holding up an oar.

"Brilliant" laughed Howard "Now we just need the boat."

"Why don't we just go back to the flat?"

"Sounds like a much better idea."

--

Vince flopped on to the bed panting heavily and very flushed.

"Wow." he breathed propping himself up on one elbow to better look at his new lover. "You sure you've never done that before?"

"I can honestly say you were my first." Howard said reaching up to kiss Vince lightly.

"Wow!" sighed Vince snuggling into up to the bigger man "Can't wait to see what you're like with a bit of practice."

"You know," said Howard tracing a small circle with his finger on Vince's stomach "We could start practising now."

"Yeah?"

"Oh yeah!"


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks to everyone who's reviewed it as a finished story but i could resist an even more soppy ending (I _do_ like them!)**

* * *

Vince woke up really late the next day. He rolled over slowly to look at Howard but he had already left and Vince's alarm had been turned off

'Howard' he smiled to himself 'bless him'.

He slid carefully out of bed and put on his most flattering suit and glided gracefully into the living room. Naboo looked up from his newspaper.

"You look happy?"

"I am." grinned Vince "Me and Howard got together."

"I know." said Naboo his eyes returning to the paper "Howard's walking around with the same stupid grin."

"Hey Naboo, sorry about your magic boat. We sorta… lost it."

"The boat wasn't magic." Naboo replied in a familiar monotone.

"What!?" spluttered Vince.

"Yeah, it was just a regular boat. Howard asked for a bit of magic to get you two together so…"

"You lied?"

"Well,-"

"Naboo." warned Vince

"Yeah, okay I lied. But it worked didn't it?"

"Thank you." smiled Vince. "You're fantastic, fabulous, the best, amazing."

Vince placed a kiss on the top of Naboo's head. "Get off and get to work!" moaned Naboo.

"Okay!" giggled Vince skipping down the stairs.

--

"Morning lover." laughed Vince walking up to Howard and kissing him passionately.

"Woah there." smiled Howard "Customers." he said pointing at a woman who was browsing the jazz collection.

"So?" grinned Vince, starting to kissing him again.

"come on," laughed Howard pushing him away "just wait until she leaves. She's going to buy a jazz record. This could be my first ever sale."

"It's been a day for firsts." grinned Vince.

"Yer, wait there two seconds." said Howard leaving Vince behind the counter and walking over to the woman. "Jazz fan?"

"I love jazz." said the woman "particularly jazz funk."

"You like jazz funk?"

"I _love_ jazz funk. I also love bookmarks and trumpets and long documentaries."

Vince scowled jealously "What's your favourite colour?" he called from the counter

"Well, beige, nutmeg, anything kind of…bland." she smiled looking into Howard's eyes and fluttering her eyelashes prettily.

"Alright!" said Vince angrily "Out! Go on get out of the shop."

"Vince, shhh" urged Howard "I'm about to make a sale."

"I don't care. I want her out of the shop."

"It's okay" smiled the woman "I'll go. I'll come back and buy the record when he's not around." she winked at Howard and left.

"Yeah well good luck with that cause I'm always going to be around!" yelled Vince practically chasing her through the door and slamming it behind her.

"Jealous?" asked Howard cocking his eyebrow.

"No." said Vince grumpily sitting back down. "It just seems she was pretty perfect for you."

"You're kidding, aren't you?"

"No, she likes the same music, the same hobbies and even the same colours as you. It was like she was made for you."

"No," smiled Howard scooping Vince up in his arms "You were made for me."

"But I like bright colours and straightening my hair and I _love _electro music"

"And _I _love you." he grinned kissing Vince on the nose.

"Good," smiled Vince "Because I love you."

"Vince, what ever you think, no one is more perfect for me than you." Vince blushed prettily as Howard continued "Now, how about we shut up shop early and go upstairs?"

"Really? Already? You know I'm still kinda tired from last night."

Howard look puzzled for a moment and then laughed out loud "You've got such a one track mind."

"So what were you thinking?" asked Vince turning a vibrant shade of red and looking straight at the floor.

"Oh, I don't know." said Howard putting a finger under Vince's chin to bring the smaller mans face up to meet his own. "Popcorn, blanket, curling up on the sofa watching your favourite film."

"You know what" smiled Vince meeting the eyes of his lover. "That sounds perfect."

And it was. In fact, apart from the odd row about which was better jazz or electro music, everything from that point on was perfect.

* * *

**There you are a 'Disney-style' happy ending (without the castles and the fairys or the knight's on horses - okay so nothing like Disney, but it was an ending and it was happy.) and it included a nice, cheesy last line. What more could you ask for? - lol**

**Thank youuu for reading and for reviewing!! They've all been lovely!!**

**I've actually really enjoyed writing this (especially as the other story I've been writing is a bit bleak!) Hope you enjoyed reading it.**

**xx**


End file.
